Sweet 16 > Dull 22

Original date of post: 28.05.2009

Im kinda feeling 16 years old again, you know, when you have some silly celeb crush and all. Its like i have an urge to get a poster and put up on my wall again, like in the old days! Actually when i think about it, i was probably more like 12-14 when i had posters up, but still :p

I got three posters in my room now, two of Nemi, a cartoon girl (norwegian one), and a big map of Grenada, just because it was nice to be there. And then ofc its nice to look at it and remember that cute little carib island i once visited. But no guys! I remember i had like Nick Carter from Backstreet Boys up, and hmm George Clooney, or whatever, did he play in that hospital soap? And oh, i probably had a couple of the whole Backstreet Boys too.

I wonder who i would have on my wall if i was 14 now, or 12, or ehm 16. Zach Efron? Hes cute, but too young and flashy for my likings. Robert Pattinson on the other hand, he could be on a poster on my wall any time. Also i maybe would have a poster of uhm.. uuuhm.. hm, cant think of anything, i dont watch much movies. Okay, another one or three of Rob then! He is sooo cute, hihi ^^

Who wouldnt want this guy?

So yeah, see what i mean about feeling 16? Gosh, its terrible. When i was younger, i had crushes on people all the time. The guy at school, the other guy at school, and then that guy on the disco, and yet another dude at school. I never dared to speak to any of them. Things are pretty much the same now, i still dont dare to speak to guys i fancy, but the thing that really changed is that i havent been in love or even had a innocent crush in years. When did that change?

Dont really know. Is it normal that when you get older, you lose the ability to just be all silly and get a distance crush on someone you barely know? I remember it so well, how my heart used to beat incredibly fast at lunch time on college, just because i knew i'd get to see him in the cafeteria. Or how i would take a bus to school that took 15 minutes longer, just so i could see the object of my crush standing on the bus stop along the way, waiting for a bus in the (yeah dont laugh) different direction. Totally weird. But that was the small highlights of my day, just the glimpses that made my heart run faster than Forrest Gump on a good day.

But those days are over. I might feel like a stupid 16 year old girl when i look at Rob Pattinson and daydream, making up scenarios where we randomly bump into eachother in the street, and i lose all my stuff, and he helps me pick it up and then ask me on a date. Yeah, girls at their finest uh silliest. Daydreams and all. And the worst is that when im this "old", i should probably have the filthy daydreams including sweat and naked bodies, but those i never have, only innocent first meetings, dates and all that crap you see in romantic movies.

Thats one thing. An innocent celeb crush. You can hardly call it a crush, since its not real in any way. It would be much nicer to have a little crush on someone you knew irl, someone you could secretly stare at when you were at the same party, someone who made your hard skip a beat when he walked in your direction. Someone who made you die a littlebit if he even just looked at you. Where did those days go? Will it ever come back?

I know its pretty stupid to think you will never fall in love again when you're only 22, but it just feels that way. I used to fall for people so easy, now i hardly ever do anymore, at least its been several years since i really did irl. And i desperately wonder why, because the feeling of being just littlebit in love is so awesome.

Maybe, one day. Maybe ill stand at the bus stop, and the rain is pouring down. Maybe i'd forgotten my umbrella that day, so im getting to a point where im soaking wet. Maybe a true gentleman, hot like you wouldnt believe it would also come for the bus and offer me his umbrella because he felt a lady shouldnt be standing out in the raid and get soaked like that. And then maybe we started to chat a littlebit while waiting for the bus, and then of course we kept up the smalltalk when it finally came. And when we got off at the same stop, maybe -just maybe, he would ask me if i wanted to go for a coffee? ;) Now wouldnt that be nice!

One comment


01.feb.2010 kl.16:46

http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight ----> HAHA!!! andresolvang.blogg.no som tipsa meg om den! :P Siden han vet jeg er Twilight -nerd!

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